Gone are the days of old-fashioned teacher - who taught with sincerity, and therefore occasionally chided the student or pulled their ear. Today we operate in a business like environment where students are 'customers' and have to be cosseted accordingly.
The words on assessment reports have also evolved to keep pace. Here are a few samples sent by a friend:
- Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates. (He was caught cheating on a test).
- She is an endless fund of energy and viability. (The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes).
- Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction. (He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met).
- She exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her. (The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term).
- Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination. (The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away).
- He thrives on interaction with his peers. (Your son needs to stop socializing and start working).
- Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions. (Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument).
- He enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers. (He's a bully).
- An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory. (Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond).
- I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality. (She's so immature that we've run out of diapers).
- I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment. (Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade).
- Her exuberant verbosity is awesome! (A mouth that never stops yacking).