Oct 1, 2010

Remarks of a modern empathetic teacher

Gone are the days of old-fashioned teacher - who taught with sincerity, and therefore occasionally chided the student or pulled their ear. Today we operate in a business like environment where students are 'customers' and have to be cosseted accordingly. 
The words on assessment reports have also evolved to keep pace. Here are a few samples sent by a friend: 
  • Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates. (He was caught cheating on a test).
  • She is an endless fund of energy and viability. (The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes). 
  • Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction. (He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met). 
  • She exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her. (The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term). 
  • Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination. (The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away). 
  • He thrives on interaction with his peers. (Your son needs to stop socializing and start working). 
  • Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions. (Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument). 
  • He enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers. (He's a bully). 
  • An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory. (Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond). 
  • I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality. (She's so immature that we've run out of diapers). 
  • I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment. (Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade). 
  • Her exuberant verbosity is awesome! (A mouth that never stops yacking). 


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